www.freakyplasticsurgery.com - Why do non Transsexual People ?

Why do non Transsexual People ?

One of the most common questions here is when should people born Transsexual reveal there Medical History. The majority of non Transsexual people seem to think prior to a first date. Usually with in 5 seconds of meeting a person. So I am wondering when Women not born transsexual tell there prospective dates that they have had Breast Augmentation? Ho about Botox injections? Have you had any facial surgery or body contouring with liposuction? What about your teeth? Have you had crowns and veneers? Guys have you had any of the above procedures? What about erections? Do you have E.D.? Do you rely on Viagra or Cialis to get erect? If so don't you think it is being dishonest and deceptive to not tell your potential partners right away. What about your vision? Are you being deceptive if you wear colored contacts? Have you had any corrective surgery for any condition you were born with such as cleft palette/lip, heart or kidney problems? How about diabetes? Past cancers? I am just wondering when you tell so that I can be consistent when I tell people about my transsexualism.

Public Comments

its impossible to be born transexual.
I'm a non-TS but I have had many ts (and tv) friends in the past. I understand where you are going with this and I see your point however, you must also understand that society (for the most part) isn't ready to openly accept ts's into "their" world. This is very unfortunate and hopefully one day, this will happen.
Actually, i think there is no specifically set time to tell anyone. It'll depend on you and when you feel ready for it, and it will depend on the other person as well, how you feel about them. Honestly, i think their love should be for you, and if something like you having been the other gender before changes that love or even makes it go away, did they really love you that much to begin with? -that is, considering you're not telling on the first date-. I think its not really deceptive. Are you being deceptive if you dye your hair black while you actually have blond hair? isn't that kind of the same thing, but in a more accepted way? Like i said, it'll depend on when you feel ready, and on the other person. Some will leave you, some will stay with you and be supportive. Some will be interested, some just don't care at all, people are so different, it's impossible to say how they'll react and when they'd react the best. I think i'll have to disappoint you if you're looking for a set moment to tell, because i don't think there is one.
I guess it all really comes down to whether you still have a penis/still have a vag. While you can make someone love you/like you for you, you cannot make them alter their sexuality, no matter what their feelings for you. It isn't fair to the other person. It isn't quite the same as having the above medical procedures......its also not fair to compare it to that....It's about the same as if I compared having an STD and not disclosing that....
I'm not trans but I definitely don't believe that. I think on a first date, the person who is trans shouldn't have to reveal their status and isn't 'morally' obligated to or whatever. Its definitely no one's business on the first few dates, for sure, unless thats something that the person who is trans wants to share. I wouldn't feel like I was lied to or anything like that because it IS just a part of someone's medical history as far as I'm concerned. Its not like anyone else discloses every most personal and intimate detail of their lives on the first few dates either.
I'm a transsexual man, when im going on a date i let them know before, possibly within the first hour i meet them, because i don't like to waste my time. She has to fully understand what dating me means and i need to know if she is willing to be with me. In a perfect world i wouldn't have to tell them anything and she would eventually find out while having sex lol, but obviously this is not a perfect world.
Why do transsexual people never ask questions? They're always things like "Have you heard about this insignificant event?" "Look at these transphobes!" "Why are gay people so whiny?" I've never seen a singe legitimate question asked by a transsexual user over 1000 points (heck, most serious questions are by level 1 users). I let them know about serious medical conditions - that IS what you say transsexualism is, correct? It's not nearsightedness. Ask me for my medical history and I will, actually, disclose it. But - you - have to know my name first. I'm not ashamed of my condition, past or present.
It's due to cisgendered people being ignorant and paranoid about transsexualism. It's a transsexual persons private medical history and it's totally up to them on when if ever to tell someone that history. A transsexual woman needs to know if she is safe when she does disclose her history. other wise she may end up on this list . . . http://www.rememberingourdead.org/about/core.html
This question is hard for me to answer. I am an FTM transexual. Right now, there are few people in my life who know this about me. I have some friends online who found out when they ran across a website. I wasn't upset about it and fortunately, they handled it very well. I have had other friends who also found out, and they dumped me in a very cruel manner. There is no good time to discuss it in my opinion. And there is no way to predict how someone will react to it. My own family not only avoids the subject, they continue to treat me as if I never told them. So, tell people when you are ready. If they are real friends, you will still have them the next day. If they aren't, then move on to someone else.
I'm sorry, but I don't think that disclosing that you are transgender is the same thing as having had a kidney stone. I actually understand where you're coming from and the point that you're trying to make, but changing my gender is just not the same thing as nearsightedness. This issue is very close to my heart, so this isn't coming from someone not educated. I think that the sooner the better is usually the best policy with revealing potentially precious/judgmental information. I think you need to choose a heavier medical condition, perhaps addiction. When one finds out about my history there is a lot of preconceived judgments attached, but bottom line it's a brain disease. Sometimes, just the knowledge about my past is enough to disinterest someone. But, the fact that you were born a different gender than the one you are now presenting is not the same as popping in some blue contacts. I wish it were no big deal, but it means something, and I can't help but think that part of the difference is actually in identification. People identify as trans because it has implications. OK. Bottom line is as soon as possible. I do believe that trans folks are some of the most brave people in the world.
The problem all boils down to the fact that people can't wrap their heads around the concept that... NOBODY CHANGES GENDER! NOT EVER. Transsexual people correct their BODIES to match the GENDER OF THEIR BRAIN. Did everyone get that? Once again, loud and clear... TRANSSEXUAL PEOPLE CORRECT THEIR BODIES TO MATCH THEIR BRAIN GENDER. They do not "become the opposite sex." If someone dates a Transsexual woman, they are dating a FEMALE. She has always been female, regardless of whether she looked like a male, or a border collie. The brain is the seat of a person's identity, ALL their identity. Good or evil, sane or insane, your brain is who you are. Your brain is what makes you male or female, an optimist or pessimist, a theist or an atheist, a liberal or a conservative, an altruist or a miser, even a criminal or law-abiding person. If a woman served prison time because she was a thief, or she neglected her child, or if she was an addict of some kind and is in recovery, or if she cheated on her last two husbands, it's her brain that makes her this type of person. How many men would want to get involved with a woman like this? Darn few I'd imagine, but nobody can know these things about a person unless the person either tells them, or there are enough signs that the man intuits it and asks her. This is the nature of relationships. We all take people at face-value, because we have no other choice (unless you've got some friends in the CIA.) It would be great if we could read a persons mind when we first meet them and KNOW immediately if there was anything in their past we might find unacceptable. Since we can't, we TAKE A CHANCE, and base our assessment of them on what they choose to tell us, and their appearance. This goes for all people, not just Transsexual people. A person who corrected their Transsexualism might scare a lot of people out there, but is what this person did to their body really so bad? Is Transsexualism really something to fear? We're talking about a person who was born with a very complex birth condition, not an ex-con, or an abusive parent, or a cheating spouse. We're talking about a medical condition that the person went through hell and back to correct, and you can be pretty damn sure that a Transsexual woman who makes it through Transition has a female brain, because damn few people would go through this process just to "trick men" into sleeping with a man. And that really is the the big problem after all, right... straight men who don't want to be "duped" into having sex with a person who (they believe) used to be a man? It doesn't matter if this Transwoman has the same physical dimensions as a born female, or if she sounds like any other woman. It doesn't matter if she has soft skin, or large breasts, or long, silky hair, or if she smells beautiful. It doesn't matter if her genitals are indistinguishable form a born woman's genitals. It doesn't matter if she is the most amazing, most feminine woman he's ever slept with. Apparently, no matter how female a person looks, sounds, acts, smells, tastes, feels, thinks and behaves, the person is only a considered a woman in a man's mind if he BELIEVES she born this way. We all have deal-breakers when it comes to partners. We all have things we simply will not accept. Personally, I cannot date a smoker, or someone who gets physically violent when they are angry. If I married such a person and found out after the fact, I would leave them. I certainly would NOT want to date someone with a criminal record, or who abuses animals, or who compulsively shoplifts, and depending on the severity of a person's problems, I might choose to leave them over it, but because I UNDERSTAND what Transsexualism is, I could never imagine leaving a person because of a medical problem they had no control over, which they corrected before I knew them. The bottom line is, if I didn't know they were born Transsexual before they told me, then the person was obviously convincing enough that I believed they were the gender I thought they were. Whether we like it or not, most of the time our perception is our reality. Faced with this new reality, do I suddenly decide that all the feelings (or love) I had for this person wasn't real? Perception is reality. If I respect a person, I respect that there may be parts of their life I don't know about, or may NEVER know about. If these parts don't affect me, then what difference does it make? A difference which makes no difference, IS no difference.
Quite honestly, I let people I plan on dating know early on. And just so we're clear, it is for entirely selfish reasons. 1) I don't want to get emotionally attached to someone who will end up leaving me because I was born with the wrong body. And 2) as an transgirl, I am putting myself at serious risk by dating someone who will later find out that I was born male. Several men find the idea of dating a transwoman as a 'gay' experience, and those who can't live with the false notion they put in their own heads often turn to violence. Letting someone know you're transsexual right before a date and having them be grossed out by it and turn you down is far better than being in the hospital with a busted up face because they didn't find out until after you've been in a physical relationship with them. It has nothing to do with honesty or deceptiveness and everything to do with safety.